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Dialogue with Terri Aki
The Dialogue with Terri Aki is a third-century reflective text, documenting the conversations between Harold Butt and Terri Aki on various topics. Most Brugarian scholars agree that Terri Aki is a fictional character invented by Harold. The Dialogue utilizes the literary device of an "intellectual" conversation between Harold and Terri Aki. The concluding section of the Dialogue focuses on dinosaurs and what would have happened if one dinosaur had the mind of Einstein and knew when the meteor would come to destroy its brethren. Identity of Terri Aki : See also: Harold Butt The identity of Terri Aki as a goat has been proposed, but virtually all Brugarian scholars now reject the notion that Terri Aki is any sort of mammal. Most Brugarian scholars agree that Terri Aki is a fictional character invented by Harold because Harold had no real friends and needed a character that he could dialogue with in order to write a sixth book. Seymour Butts, a prominent Brugarian historian, states that whether or not Terri Aki actually existed, one can assume that Harold was a loser and that Terri Aki would have been at least 15 times as popular as Harold. Setting and Structure Throughout the entirety of the Dialogue, Harold and Terri Aki talk about a wide variety of topics dealing in almost every subject matter taught in the schools during their lifetime, and even subjects that hadn't been invented yet. Although Harold and Terri Aki never quite seem to be at odds with each other throughout the dialogue, they do bring up interesting thoughts and have stayed in the minds of humans to this very day. When Harold suggests to Terri Aki that his name reminds him of a slab of meat, however, Terri Aki becomes very agitated towards Harold and begins to criticize many aspects of his life. In the opening of the "dialogue", Harold brings up the topic of pancakes and walruses. The dialogue takes a sudden turn to philosophy as the two discuss the definitions of both words and the relation between the two. Here is an excerpt from the first chapter where Harold and Terri Aki are discussing both pancakes and walruses: : H: But then, my dear Terri Aki, we would logically come to the conclusion that a deer in is fact the same thing as a boot. : T: True. : H: It is important, then, that we define pancake and walrus. : T: You make a good point. Let us say that a pancake is a thin, flat cake of batter, that is usally fried and turned in a pan. Let us also say that pancakes are usually eaten with syrup or rolled up with a filling. : H: Very well. And let us say a walrus is a large gregarious marine mammal related to the eared seals, having two large downward-pointing tusks and found in the Arctic Ocean. : T: So it shall be. Now, Harold, repeat what you previously said. : H: We, as humans, are able to imitate a pancake. While some may not be able to imitate a pancake as well as others, all have the ability to attempt. : T: I agree. : H: Therefore, we can assume that a walrus can also imitate a pancake, seeing as though a walrus is 90% similar to a human. : T: What about the possible error of the other 10%? : H: The probability that an error with occur is so insurmountably small that we need not take it into consideration. : T: I disagree. I think 10% is enough to say that we cannot logically assume that a walrus can also imitate a pancake. : H: Nobody asked you Terri Aki! : T: You did ask me, Harold. The argument continues on for several pages of the Dialogue, but Terri Aki eventually gets sick of Harold's attitude and agrees to let Harold continue on with his assumptions, no matter how stupid they may be. Towards the end of the chapter the two finally conclude that a walrus can indeed imitate a pancake. They also conclude that Pancake Walrusing would have to be the act of a walrus imitating a human who is imitating a pancake, and could not be a pancake imitating a walrus. In the Dialogue, Harold also wrote, "For if I choose to discount all knowledge previously discovered and use only the knowledge that I have attained over the many years I have studied in the desert wasteland, I shall have more knowledge than that of a small rat. They who would say otherwise to my claim would be incorrect in their statements and worthy of treason to both the state and to me." This passage clearly shows that Harold started to go insane in his later years. While many scholars note this, they do agree that Harold was in his right mind in all previous works, and therefore his previous works should be respected as academic literature. Harold finishes the Dialogue with this sentence, "From all the conversations that I had with my dear friend Terri Aki, I am able to conclude that you are all..." the writing stops at this point and there are only a few marks of ink following. Many scholars have come to the conclusion that Harold had died from a heart attack due to the incredible amount of unbreaded chicken nuggets that he had been eating while writing the Dialogue. No one is quite sure what Harold was going to say, but scholars say it is safe to say that Harold was not going to say... Nobody knows what the scholars were going to say Harold was not going to say, as all were killed in their meeting during the Great War. The scholars were told not to meet in the town square that day because violence was imminent from the opposing nations, especially in that town square. There was, however, a secretary who had written everything else down during that meeting, and that document is still in existence to this day. Topics of Discussion by Chapter Chapter 1: Pancakes and Walruses Chapters 2-134: Mainly about unbreaded chicken nuggets Authenticity The authenticity of the Dialogue with Terri Aki and the two Apologies is universally accepted, literally. In recent years the Congress of the Universe met together to vote on the authenticity of both the Dialogue with Terri Aki and the two Apologies. Their consensus was that there was no way they could have been faked. Both works are preserved in the National Museum of Harold Butt, located in his home town of Flan Yuppa. The museum has all of the completed works of Harold Butt, along with anything else archaeologists could dig up that belonged to Harold. The identity of authorship is shown not only by the reference in chapter 134 of the Dialogue, but by the the fact that Harold signed the original copy along with a video recording of him writing the document.